It is a natural thing for many that they cannot say No and help people around them. Many people are so helpful that they always respond with a knee-jerk yes for helping and just as often find themselves regretting it later.
Most people do not like to say no to their boss, colleague, employees and family. By this way they unintentionally trained everyone in their life to expect a yes to their requests, no matter what they are. But a world without ‘No’ is filled with distraction, chaos, frustration, and burnout. Many of us get sucked into saying yes often at the expense of our own finances, time, and mental health which is not good for us. However, it has been a hard habit to break just because we would really rather not -to avoid conflict, because we even feel ashamed when we put ourselves first.
In general, we feel that it is important to maintain better relationships with people hence saying yes is unavoidable, irrespective of the cost it might extract from us. Before saying yes, we should ask ourselves a question. Are we trying to please people for the sake of maintaining relationships?
If you have difficulty figuring out when, how to say no, here we are providing some tips to break the habit of saying Yes. Often psychologists call it “the disease to please.”
Understand the No – No is not negative. In fact, it will help you better shape your life. So do not feel shame while saying no. At first, it will hurt because of our inner insecurities and anxieties that go on to stop us from saying ‘No’ to a person. But once you start doing so, it gives you a good feeling from the inside.
Understanding it is right practice – In present day FOMO (fear of missing out) culture, we are living under the constant pressure of saying yes to everything to please others. We should understand that the saying no is never self – serving. It is better to develop the art of saying no politely. Instead of an instant answer and regretting it later on, it is always better to take a deep breath and then say no.
Understand your time – It is important to learn how to take better care of yourself. It is so important to only say yes to the things a person does when you have invaluable time after your schedule is stacked. It is important to give your life the attention it deserves.
It is important that we understand our own priority and our time before turning down to say yes to someone. We should set some general boundaries when it comes to demands on our time.
Understand your value – We generally care about other’s sentiments rather them our own. Such a thing happens when we do not love ourselves that well, or when we are not sure or confident about our life choices. It is very important to say No to toxics relationships that hurt you and friendships that bring you down. So it is essential that you understand your own worth and value yourself and your time first and then worry about what other people are thinking about you.
Understand it is an opportunity – When you say no to something which means you open up or create a chance to do other things, or it might open up direction towards ten other different things in Life. When you turn down a proposal for a movie night and want to spend time with yourself even that can act as an opportunity.
Understand saying no to yourself – It is not always others who you will need to politely decline. Sometimes it may be the toughest person of all: you. It is important to say no to some of your habits like procrastination, snoozing the morning alarm, junk food, unhealthy eating and relation.
This is a wonderful thing that you will need to show up, stand up to yourself, for yourself and say hell-to the- no.
How to Say No Politely?
· Choose kind words to say No without bluntness.
· Avoid lengthy explanations. It is sufficient to simply say, “No, I cannot do it.”
· Keep some ready phrases like ” Maybe next time”, “Thanks for asking, but I am overloaded right now.”
· Be kind, be calm but firm with your own decision without defensiveness.
· Set some boundaries for others without thinking too much about what they think.
When you always say Yes instead of No means
· you have given control of your calendar to someone.
· You feel powerless.
· You create a lack of quality work by either doing a few things well or you do nothing well.
· Your planned results get pushed to back burners.
The inability to say no creates helplessness, misery and dissatisfaction. Don’t waste time worrying that the person you have refused is thinking about what a pill you are, but learn the art of saying no in a positive, polite way. When you never say no, people take you for granted and if you start doing favors for the wrong person, you can get into a lot of trouble.
